replying to goodbyes

i noe y i have to constantly check if there's ppl on msn i can talk to. time difference. i'm 7 hours behind. though most of my frenz sleep at weird hrs like 3am.. i'm still the one to reply to their goodnites. our time diff is so large that i will never be the one to say goodnite first. i hate this. i'm always lagging behind. even moving to a new place, i have to choose one that moves behind time. my fren said in her blog, always face the sun so the shadow is behind u. the sun starts setting at 4pm here, i'll be in complete shadow after tt, whether the sun is infront or behind doesn't matter anymore. when i'm done, there's no one i can say goodnite to. mayb to my little marimo who refuse to grow anymore. it has reached maturity, according to darren. does tt mean it's gg to age and die soon too? i'm still there when my frenz wake up and say hi to me. they have started a brand new day while i'm still struggling and hope my day doesn't come yet cos' there's endless stuffs i have yet to finish. mayb i can understand y some ppl have no faith in long distance relationship. it's not so much of not being able to see, hold hands or kiss each other. it's a matter of being there at the exact moment u need someone to be there. it's not being physically there but jus the thought that u noe he's also working hard while u r struggling makes u stronger.

i wan to be the one to say goodnite first.. can i?